Unseasonable Weather Drives Toronto Librarians Back to Bargaining Table

One day after calling a strike, City of Toronto librarians are sheepishly returning to the bargaining table. The reason? Unseasonably awesome Spring weather.

“When we originally planned this job action we were imagining typical March weather – cold, grey and rainy – which suited our membership just fine. However, the complaints of sunburn, heatstroke and frisbee-related injuries has compelled us to rethink our position,” commented Marina Ogopogo, spokesperson for the librarians.

Apparently, the idea of trudging around in miserable weather feeling self-righteous and put upon was something the librarians were prepared for. As a group, they possess a greater than usual amount of wool, tweed, raingear and unsightly but practical footwear. They revelled in the idea of pathetic fallacy, a literary concept where the external world reflects the inner life of literary characters. There was much anticipation of doleful complaints and references to Poe, Dickens and Hawthorne. These grim hopes were all dashed by soaring temperatures and sunny skies.

“This gives a new and bitter twist on the concept of the ‘Hot Librarian’,” griped Hans Matheson, a beefy and bearded librarian fanning himself with his Tilley hat and the top button on his flannel shirt unbuttoned. “Our membership contains a smattering of nimble and younger folks who were fine parading around in this weather showing off their youthful limbs but most of us are longing for the cool and dim environs of the stacks.”

Rumours abound that the unseasonable weather is the result of a secret hard right agenda by Mayor Rob Ford. There is a movement afoot to have Councillor Adam Vaughan sponsor a motion condemning the weather-related bargaining tactics of the Mayor. In the meantime, the librarians are reconsidering their options and hoping for rain to drive sun-drunk Torontonians back indoors.