The Russian Federation refuses to go along with other nations in condemning Syria’s leadership through sanctions or other means. It has decided for a Made In Russia approach. What that plan is has been cloaked in secrecy but sources close to Prime Minister Vladimir Putin have revealed it essentially hinges on the powerful but disturbingly hairless torso of Putin himself.
Details are still sketchy but apparently it revolves around Putin being launched from an offshore sub close to a beach. He will emerge from the sea wearing only a formfitting European cut bathing suit. In quick order he will jump astride an Arabian stallion that has been loosed on the beach for this purpose. He will ride bareback and without reins to the city’s central square Al- Majera. He will then apparently stride into an adminstrative building and hold top-level discussions with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
“It cannot be stressed enough how important Putin’s physique is to Russian domestic and international policy,” concluded the Russian source.