Steve Jobs Reaches Out From Beyond the Grave

Steve Jobs: visionary; hero; imagineer has added a new title to his collection – Afterworld Entrepreneur.

Shortly after his death and much to their shock, he has reportedly reached staff at Apple headquarters. Being Steve Jobs, this was no ordinary otherwordly communique – he had a new business opportunity he wished to explore. He and Apple staff immediately began developing a new App, tentatively titled APP-terdeath. This app allows you to keep track of recently deceased loved ones and, perhaps most earthshattering, contains an Afterworld Locator function: featuring to date, Heaven, Limbo, and Hell. They hope to add Elysian Fields, Nirvana, Tartarus and Valhalla next and are apparently involved in negotiations with various stakeholders and decision makers  to have that roll out as soon as possible.

“We understand that this is a double-edge sword – some people might be upset to learn that a beloved was being licked by the eternal flames of damnation but there also might be people upset to learn that a recently deceased person was NOT having their entrails slowly pulled out by a sadistic imp. But, hey, that’s the way it goes,” commented an Apple employee upon the condition of anonymity.

As of yet, leaders of the major religions have refused to comment on the rumours but the International Alliance of Fortunetellers, Astrologers, Mystics and Palmreaders have issued a stinging denunciation of what they decry as “the insidious creep of technology into the sacred areas of spirituality.”

“We imagine that there will be a lot of pushback on this and it’s still uncertain what the uptake will be from people who have been dead a long time. It’s difficult to imagine that we’ll get people like Lincoln or Plutarch signing up but Steve hasn’t given us any room to question this new direction so…” continued the Apple staffer.

Cerrtainly nothing is slowing down the folks at Apple, they are working flat out to get this app to market – preferably by Halloween.